awkward things.

The Groom and I have had differing opinions over just the one thing during the wedding planning: the registry / ‘wishing well’ thing.

He prefers cash gifts (to go towards a home deposit, a sensible goal!) and I prefer stuff (e.g. Wedding List Co can split big items like an awesome KitchenAid into several ‘shares’ 😉 ). Unfortunately we have limited space for stuff. So we need to buy a house first.

Whichever we preferred, I didn’t want to mention gifts with the wedding invitations. I didn’t want to mention it at all really, and so far I’ve left it off our website (I do love technology!) where all the other guest information is.

It is already costing our guests to come to our wedding, with everyone having to travel and stay in accommodation. I felt mentioning gifts of any sort, on top of the travel costs, would be presumptuous and possibly offend some.

I’ve realised you can’t please everyone though!

While not mentioning the gift thing might please some (or myself, at least), to others it is more of an inconvenience as they need to ask around or guess what we might like. I find it difficult saying ‘money’.

Frequent question: “Would you prefer cash or a gift?”

Me: “Er…”, followed by an awkward and less articulate muttering of ‘we appreciate you coming to the Hunter Valley for us, if you would like to give something as well we would prefer money towards a home deposit’

So with less than 9 weeks to go, I’m giving into peer pressure from the family, and will add some info on our website to point our guests in the right direction.

We will have an antique-style birdcage at the reception as a ‘card holder’ – they’re pretty, so I feel slighty more comfortable with it 😉 



Filed under Musings

7 responses to “awkward things.

  1. That’s a great idea! I know what you mean, it’s always so awkward to bring up money. I hate talking about it. But I think you’ve got a gorgeous solution!

    • Thanks Lorraine 🙂

      In our circle of friends/family each wedding over the past few years has had a ‘wishing well’ (bar one) so it is readily accepted… but I still feel awkward 😉

  2. I am not quite sure how I managed to miss your blog! It is great!

    People are funny about money. I think I’ll be the same though. I don’t want to tell people what to give us, but I’ll be prepared when they ask. Hopefully.

    • Thanks Miss C! I love reading your blog 😀

      ‘Preparation is key’, right? Hopefully you’ll have a better prepared answer than my awkward answers haha 😉

  3. Lovely way to handle things. But think of it this way…, even if you refuse to deal with this question…., it’ll still come up & your guests really do want to know what you “really” want…., so good for you… tell them 🙂

    • Thanks Anna 🙂 I guess if guests are asking us then they DO want to know!

      Personally, I haven’t had an issue with registry or monetary requests by previous weddings we have been to (though I prefer giving gifts more than cash) and it has been easy since we’re told what they want (though I think putting bank details in with the invitation is a bad idea!)… I just feel guilty because ours is out of town!

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