the white picket fence.

I often hear people say things like “50% of marriages end in divorce!” or “don’t do it!”.

I’m not listening to those people.

I can be quite optimistic*, with fairytale visions of our house with a ‘white picket fence’, the scent of freshly baked cookies drifting from the oven, flowers from the garden in a vase on the table, and many, many years later,  a golden wedding anniversary.

I know the stats – the ABS says divorces are decreasing, but there were still 47,209 granted in 2008. I’m going to do all I can to have a long and successful marriage (i.e. this will be my only one)!

So what makes a lasting marriage?? Other than love, of course. I believe some of the key factors in any great relationship are: commitment, honesty, trust, communication, common interests, having fun together, having fun without each other, and regular ‘date nights’ (even once a month).

So if we keep making an effort (and by effort I don’t mean it’s difficult or unpleasant) in those areas, especially communication, then surely we will “cherish each other for as long as we both shall live”? That’s my hope anyway.

*Other words could be naive, old fashioned, living in a fantasy land, ridiculous



Filed under Musings

7 responses to “the white picket fence.

  1. Nice post. Don’t say that it’s ridiculous because they are your values and beliefs – you should never put them down. 😀

    I think it’s great that you have these ideals (me – I’m a realist – shouldn’t be mistaken for a pessimist – and happy with that!) but I’m a firm believer that one should never say never.

    For instance, I know that if J was to find himself suddenly not in love with me anymore (god forbid – why would he stop being in love with all THIS?!) then I would definitely want to move on and who knows, that could lead to me finding a wonderful person that I could say “I do” to.

    Marriages are hard work at times and there is so much pressure to ‘stay together’. I don’t want to put so much pressure on that that it means we eventually fall apart.

    What I think is most important is friendship. That person should be your friend, your lover and your family all in one.

    Common interests are all well and good but it’s also important to have your own interests because it’s so easy to fall into a land where you lose your own ‘self’ because you adopt so many qualities and interests as your partner.

    Basically, I like to live in the moment. I’m in love and happy for now and I have every hope that we stay that way.


    • Haha yes, god forbid indeed! 😉
      Absolutely – I forgot one of the most important parts: friendship!
      I think it’s definitely important to have your own interests as well – and spend time with your own friends / doing your own hobbies / etc 🙂

  2. Alexis

    I agree totally!

  3. You have it in one.
    Marriage should not be hard.
    But at the same time you need to work at it.
    Jump in 2 feet first and it will be wonderful.

  4. I’m optimistic too! Hopelessly so it seems sometimes but I don’t see anything wrong with believing that. And yes they’re all things that are very important. We’ve been married for 4 years now so I realise it’s not a record or anything but they’re a very happy 4 years!

Leave a Reply to Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s